On going back to things you love

Pic source -Internet 

There are three things that I would love to go back to . One , it would have been some where in the 1999’s , how Aththamma and I use to sit on a door step and read stories to each other and sing .There was no particular time for that. But often we did it after lunch. Second , Chandima Uncle , a far friend, relative of sorts , who took me for sea baths when I visited Tangalle during vacation. A childhood play mate. He is remembered in every possible ways. Third, a few years away from now , in the 5th Lane , Colombo , turned to test love and the must things heart liked somewhere in mid August. I , somewhat little in age then , jumped into a heart and could not find the way back out. He is fondly remembered . Every now and then.



We wish there’s a rewind button. Often. So we could go back to those days again. But do we really need a rewind button? If we carefully look enough , everything in this world is clearly defined and named. We see them and we know what they are. And that way we gather what is around us and from all that’s perceived what is most cherished is safely locked inside. A human head is compartmentalized . All things we feel , talk , see and hear is put into small boxes , demarcated by line and stored eventually. And when something’s needed , its just matter of pulling out one of those boxes. It’s an effortless mechanism. And we keep straying in them. In the end everything that was once carefully scattered and caged is brought back. It is a machine , I like to think , a product of human error. I have found . This game of extracting matter that was once deposited is how we go back to things we love .



Going back is not just about people or landscapes or a moment we had lived in . It’s also about things we like to do. There’s many of us who frequently wish we’d do this and that. Over time , little by little , we stop doing things. We don’t stop for any particular reason, but one crazy week follows another busy month and somehow years go by without a race. Then we realize we’ve moved on and left something behind—something we still love. Things we love and like to do are a part of us. And when we decide not to do them , we are actually giving up a part of ourselves. I tend to think.



So how do some of us go back to what we want to do? Be it playing an instrument , reading , drawing, traveling or doing a sport. There’s no other trick but doing it. Just doing it. Look. Some one who is good at Football are those who keep dribbling , shielding, tackling and trapping. Those who are good at music enjoy scaling up and down and doing warm up exercise to keep their voice perfect. A Digital Marketer just don't make money , but because he enjoys writing articles and ad content for others. So its about going through the process and enjoying it . All that one needs is the patience and commitment . Its not easy. Not all those who want to go back to their passions really go back!




It’s not a surprise ( at least for me) that even song encompasses the need to go back. After all , song is a combination of feelings. Although I learned later that a song belongs to the singer , its true creator is the Lyricist. It’s a lyricist’s experiences , reactions and the emotional state that produces a song. I believe. There are songs that have pained. Love lost and hurt. And another time joy , sorrow - cut , a dream or hope. And among them there is nostalgia too.

I’m remembered of a song. One that I randomly stepped into while browsing on youtube recently .


වත හසරැල් ගවසා

ගිනියම් මා හිත ඉකිබින්දා

ඒද නොඑදැයි සිතමින්

මගෙ හිත මග බලමින් උන්නා

ලොවම කෙසේ කීවත්

ඔබ යලි එතැයි සිත කීවා

Ayanthi Fernando , lyric composer , through out the song is determined and hopeful. The text implies it. She is aware that the circumstances have taken her through a painful journey although her heart still warns that the lover will be back some day.


යලි උපදින්න සිතා

විගිසින් මියැදෙන්න සිතෙයි

And its not just that , she even thinks that she must die soon believing that in after life the lover could be with her. To love means pain. There is doubt and despair. There is lot of yearning embedded in the song. Ayanthi is careful when picking words. And what’s fascinating here is that the agony is turned into strength. It’s more like endurance I would call it.



The urge to go back to some one that was once lost is occasionally noticed in songs. T.M Jayaratne does the same . We have often heard this . And is frequently quoted by lovers too.


මේ පුංචි රටේ නොතැනක දී ‍හෝ

මතු කවදා හෝ යළි අප හමු‍වේවී

යළි අප හමු‍වේවී...



T.M. Jayaratne is not just being hopeful about meeting again that someone whom he lost . He educates and is educating the audience that one needs to believe him / her self that they can some day reconnect with each other and thus work of it. We are often desperate to grow up and learn why we loose people. Instead what if we actually learn to connect back together ?

It’s a known fact that every one is happy is when they do what they love doing. We always come across the pleasure talk people do when they restart doing something they have loved doing a long ago. Think of some one who stopped going to gym for a long time and has recently started going there. They are all of a sudden full of energy. Revitalized.



Going back to a person you love , to a place you like or a time that you have once lived is a trip gathering melancholia .And often makes us feel that we were absent and absented from all what was around and more. It is like when some things are lost and they are found again , they are treasured over and over.