Lessons Learnt

We are all connected. May be in thoughts or else in action. This is why I believe that strangers are awesome. Having encountered some, I think it’s adventure. Random people are just those who are yet to come to know. There is something that we can breach off from those who come to us. It’s a balance between life and death. No life is a waste when spending with people. Because there is something good to know always.

I’m not a rich traveler. I’ve just made a few to Singapore, Maldives, and Malaysia. And longtime back to Belgium too. Traveling is fun. It always gives us something new. I just got back home two weeks ago after spending nearly two months in Thailand. It was my second time in Thailand. But this time the trip served something very different.

When did you ever get satisfied thinking that “everything will be ok very soon “. This is crap. Once we achieve a thing, there is something else missing. Working on long term goals don't bring happiness. I knew it. The present is all what we have. Never postpone things. Grab things as much as you can whenever there is a chance. Breakaway the risk. Live the moments now. And now.

We make attempts. Not the first, not the second, may be the seventh will let us jump the wall. When things go wrong we forget the fundamentals. Instead blame the destiny. But impossible is nothing. It is a matter of working up your ass off. Not just to sit and screw up the entire life. Mat was one of those German friends I met during the journey. He often talked about the hard times he had while doing his bachelors. The several times he had to go from shop to shop asking for some little job to earn his living , the time spent walking miles and miles late in the night peeping into supermarkets . He recollected them. He didn’t want to bother his parents. “They weren’t much educated”, he said. But today he holds a Masters in Physics. He is a Science Researcher in one of those reputed Universities in Germany and is eagerly waiting to complete his PhD. Besides he is a rich traveler.

Something interesting now. Yes, internet can be harmful at times. I know. Too much of technology can even lead to distress according to psychologists. But Internet is the greatest thing. Google maps and google translator helped me all the way to Thailand. To talk and travel was easy. Not everything is bad. There is something good about anything we have got. It’s just a matter about how we use things. Attitude crap!

I realized that life is not only what we see in the books or the T.V. Go, get out and do something with people. Seeking out people with different cultures can teach a lot. It could be to speak hearts loud, to listen others or to respect ones feelings. , whether you like it or not. See, there is a lot to know!

The 45 days in Thailand ended this way. Wait, the lessons aren’t done yet.

It was the 1st of March. A Saturday. To leave all people was some kind of an ache. Sarathchandra once said  Lovehi aththe yaam eem pamanayi (Life is all entrances and exits). Where ever we go, what we will carry is the memory. Not that time again. Not those people again.

My flight got delayed that day. I had to spend another 7 and half hours to get to home. I was standing near a departure board when I met a random man. He was from Bangladesh. The long conversation perhaps cheered me up. We talked about Thailand. Many a times he had visited SriLanka. That was something good to know. He was eager to know about my plans for the future. I went on talking. He was married. He had been holidaying for some days in Thailand. And now it was time for him to head back to work in Kuwait after a 5 hour transit in SriLanka.

There was something striking in our meet up. Traveling alone would excite us always. His was different.

“Holidaying is different. You know that after a few days you are back in home with your people. But working in your own in another country for years is different. How much it could be interesting you will always miss the people you love. Imagine being alone, miles and miles away? You never know when you will be back in your home country. You’ll Skype them, chat them every day. But the need for affection, security and validation is something you’ll never achieve. This will knock your heart someday. A day you settle down in a country away from people who you love”

Everyone needs the same thing. Everyone needs love security and hopes for a better day. There is no difference in billionaires and a common man.

He gave me his business card. His name, address and contact numbers were all printed. He assured that I can see him if by chance I visit Kuwait or Bangladesh.

I landed to katunayake airport by one ‘o clock in the morning. I put my hands into the pocket. The card was missing. May be by mistake it fell down. I was sad. I will not meet him some day. I don’t remember his name. All I know is, he was a nice man.

( This story was carried in " The Nation"  newspaper under the title " Lessons learnt by a Traveler" on the 20th April 2014)

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A Note From Thailand

(Written while in Chaiyo, Ang Thong Province, Thailand)

So this could be the starting point of an adventure. The advent of being alone, to walk alone in a strange city, to smile at the not known, to greet in the “Thai” way, to talk a bit loud , laugh loud and to drag the words  when speaking   , it was weird  on the first day I met  “Mea Won “. Talk a blue streak and no one here would understand a single thing. Perhaps they are gentle and slow in what they do.

Formerly it was known as “Siam”, meaning the dark or brown because the Thai ancestors were black skinned. Interestingly all men and women in the country are whites now.  The black magic of the African ancestry is no longer there in Thailand. The Lao and Chinese origins have brought about a mystic combination in Thais. Thai women are well formed and tempting. So does the men! The two days of my stay at a friend’s apartment in Bangkok brought me down to a room with a stuffed dressing table.  Every semi – liquid cream was a skin whitener.  Little tubes of Pond’s cream, the half emptied bottles of Fair and Lovely and even the Face wash, the moisturizer, exfoliate washes, and sunblock consisted of “whitening agents”.  Ever in my life have I given a second thought for cosmetics, creams or whatever it is? The second encounter sounded like a bomb shell when an old Thai woman questioned me for not having any curls in hair neither any lipstick when every Thai woman is a fashionable craze.

Their owned and diverse life styles are a must to have known. Some those who have found shelter in Northern Thailand   from war in Burma dictates that young girls are fitted with brass neck rings to ward off evil spirits. Over the years the weight of added rings crushes collarbones and ribs. Now tourist dollars impel long – necked woman in Thailand to again collar their daughters. They say it’s a dying custom of the Padaung (Burmese) people. Bangkok is pretty different! The “too short “shorts and t- shirts are often the uniform for women. Huh! Even the men prefer wearing shorts. Hardly one would come across men in trousers here.

I just wondered would they ever care dying of a heart attack or getting end up with high blood pressure. Heaps and heaps of meat they gulp shocks me every time. They just don’t mind whether it’s duck, octopus, the pig or the bull. Terrifying mouths and awful stomachs they’ve got! I still couldn’t finish up eating a whole chicken leg for the 21 days I've spent in Thailand. Food never ends here. Every inch you walk will have a hut full of deep fried meat, sausages and other kinds of weird food which is hard to describe of what they are made. But I’d tell you, one should never miss the food here. It’s one of a kind. Thrilling and tempting! Big cartons of milk and various drinks for 10 or 15 baht is worth drinking. They can quench your thirst for nearly an hours ride you make.

A few Thai parties I witnessed were a singular opportunity to discover the essence of Thai life. We have our Dj’s performing and providing entertainment for us in home. But here the “Karaoke” is something exceptional. Every party or a gathering will never miss singing Karaoke among themselves. They will have the music provided by a record player. Loud and creaky music is what they like. They are phenomenal dancers too!

The happy city is always awake. The clubs and pubs are crowded with those who would like to have a fine dine, get drunk and whine or if you are lucky enough, even to make some casual love.The country is fine even behind the dark holes of Thaksin’s politics. Every step made is gripping here. There won’t be a better place than my home. But I know I’m engulfed with the land’s natural beauty. The sandy lanes, broad highways, glittering nights and softer hearts add more delight.

Last Tuesday was an action packed day. Had so much to do with the little kids in school. That evening I drove myself to the market with my roommate. It was 6.30 in the evening when we were walking back home. Twilight had already settled down on the Chao Phraya River when we were taking the bend.  It was shining in bright red and luminous orange on a yellow mixed magenta canvas fringed beneath the faded bluish patches. No way it was an irresistible picture. I looked back again, again and again until the sun disappeared from my way.

Thailand is seductive, much to rouse a man! A few words poured down my brains. But it wasn't the sun or the sky I saw.

The more I flirt, the more I love Thailand. I gently bent down my head and smiled from one corner of my mouth as I entered the house.

 ( Published in " The Nation" in early february 2014)

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Waiting For Godot

Formerly it was known as “Siam”, meaning the dark or brown because the Thai ancestors were black skinned. Interestingly all men and women in the country are whites.  The black magic of the African ancestry is no longer there in Thailand. The Lao and Chinese origins have brought about a mystic combination in Thais. Thai women are well formed and tempting. So does the men! Fine dining and attention to detail are the hallmarks of the Mandarin oriental. Bright colors—from umbrellas, clothing, and wares—brighten the muddy water of the Amphawa floating market in Samut Songkhram. Fruits, vegetables, flowers, and food tempt buyers are at floating markets across Thailand.

The twilight settles on the Chao Phraya river around 6’o clock. Chao’s sunset is the most beautiful I think.  A rare view of the sun, so closer and perfectly round in shape. It dazzles with bright red and luminous orange on a yellow mixed magenta canvas fringed beneath the faded bluish patches. Climbing for some 140 meters high and approximately 50 meters wide, recline the gold plated Buddha statues guarded by thick forests.  It is a mark of Buddhism underlying the khama in daylight along Pattaya and Phantong beaches. Thailand is mesmerizing. But not for its yellow mixed magenta skies or the bright waters of Amphawa or the tempting cuisine can cool down the boiling war between Thaksin and Bhumibol (The King of Thailand)

The wars fought against Cambodia, Laos and Burma waxed off the Kingdom. The Burmese held up. It was time for Thaksin! Since the day Thaksin became the Prime Minister he has been a busy man. He bought and sold England’s Manchester City football Club, acquired a titanium mine in Zimbabwe, started a lottery in Uganda, acquired a Nicaraguan passport, met with Vladimir Putin and met Nelson Mandela.

Wait! He is still busy doing things.

He now dreams of becoming the Head of Thailand. Thaksin is a successful mobile operator. A silicalite chip running with signals. What matters and mattered him was   the increase and decrease of figures. Law was second hand. Moral values weren't a part of him.  He was happy when the GDP increased. He enjoyed the comforts when the debts fell off. Perhaps a typical business mind turned into politics. He was a proud owner of many developed transport systems in Thailand,   A bombastic figure of the highways and Airports in the country. But did he ever smile at the corruption? the authoritarianism? the money he laundered for him and his family through government commissions?

He was a total crook  who artificed a bleeding heart. Many men of the country are being fooled by his money. He confidently announces that he wants to come back to Thailand and serve the people.  Why then escape?  It should be remembered that the tongue can lie a many but not the heart can be duped easily.

Money has turned out to have a better heart than for the virtues of a man. This is why Thaksin is still energetic, ambitious and alive among many Thais. He empowered the long ignored voices of the countryside. He managed to develop funds worth 1 million THB (Thai Baht) to help the poor. The Rice Subsidy project raised by him became popular among farmers but eventually resulted cash shortages. Yet there will be more about Thaksin, Thaksin and Thaksin running up in the lips of people in years to come in Thailand.

“If you love my brother, will you give his younger sister a chance?”  Once Yingluck Shinawatra led the crowd roar of approval at a camp, leaving little doubt as to whether the Gulf City is home to her brother Thaksin.

It’s a hunger game. Hungry for power. To own the flesh , to earn more and to celebrate the throne. To have pictures and posters of him on the city walls , every doorstep or the clock wall. Its nothing more than the greed , perhaps unending satisfaction. Nevertheless it’s a man’s thing. There is no therapy unless proper medication is found.

 ( Published in " The Nation" in early February 2014)

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LADYBOYS – The secret world of Thailand’s third gender

“Oh! Baby it’s raining, raining .Now it’s raining more than ever. We will shine together. I will give you a massage and have sex with you. Do you want to go heaven with me? “

Will he win another man’s heart?  God knows 

A woman with a penis, a surgically constructed vagina, breasts and bottom implants, and shaved Adam’s apple, sounds repugnant. The darker skies behind Thailand’s clouds with no stones is amazing but shocking too! Thousands of steps I kept my way in Bangkok to its subways, highways, and the sky train had something unusual. They were the men in pink and purple shape fitters, body hugging pants and lips colored in dark red and some in bright colors. Wait, they had long hair too! Who are they really? I wondered.

The cashier I met in 7 – eleven supermarket was beautiful, vivacious and stunning. I realized that there was no single hair on her skin. Totally white, just white! My second thought on her was kind of dirtier than the first. She was tempting! I couldn’t resist myself to touch her. Anyway with no repentance I got my stuff off the cashier’s desk and walked away. Her picture remained in my mind for days and days. My third visit to 7- eleven with Mat, my German buddy informed me that the woman at the cashier was a Lady boy. I was stunned for no reason.  It was funny. I really couldn’t figure out the word first. Was it a man turned into a woman or a woman being a man ? I was playing with the word to myself, twisting it many ways.  I hurried to the dorm and stopped in front of my Laptop. A five minute run through Google unveiled a few things about Ladyboys. It read as the “third gender”, a male –to-female who exhibits female characteristics while being born a male. I wasn’t quite sure the kind of information I was embarking on.

Thailand’s Trans- genders are mysterious. Quite well known as “Kathoeys”. They are prominently seen in Go- go bars, beauty salons, horrid slums, Thailand’s five star hotels and choreographed cabarets. I was illiterate about Ladyboys. But, Susan Aldous’s “Ladyboys” which caught my eyes in a bookshop at Khaosarn in Bangkok told me that life of every lady boy is more the same. Most of them prefer to correct their anatomy into a female while some are just happy wearing women’s clothes or adjusting themselves to effeminate mannerisms. Thais much engulfed in Buddhist faith believe that Ladyboys are a result of bad karma done in past lives.

A double take on Susan’s wording in his novel like breast implants, the hormone/ silicone enhanced breasts, vile sex shows, dancing in bikinis, generally satisfying clients with fellatio telling that he is on menstruation, or covering the penis against the lower abdomen or to carefully untape the penis and squat over the toilet to make sure that he will not get caught by his male clients when having a sexual encounter was disturbing.

Kathoeys are risk-takers. Perhaps they are a challenge to their own life and even the society. Ladyboys are competitive creatures when comes to sexual pleasure. The urge to be more feminine is stronger than just being a biological woman I think. Desire to succeed material wise plays a significant role in Thai society. So do many Ladyboys undergo surgeries to be more woman-like to sell their bodies for more money.

Despite the negative effects of contraceptive pills and the fear of getting cancer, Kathoeys or Ladyboys prefer to live happily like a woman with a few years off their life. A shorter life or a sooner death is fine for them, because they know that the silicone injections and pills will bring money to them.

Looks can be the biggest deception. It just did the same when I met the woman at the cashier in 7-eleven. If you just take away the shapes and sizes for a moment, a figure that is focused, and an ethereal beauty that can far excel anything physical will bring material benefits. However at the end of the day what matters is goodness. Susan’s write up about Ladyboys in Thailand illustrate the innocence and courage filled hearts of such people. Sometimes to cross paths irrespective of gender can be incredible.

( Published on the 22nd of February 2014 in "The Nation" )

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WAITING FOR GODOT

Formerly it was known as “Siam”, meaning the dark or brown because the Thai ancestors were black skinned. Interestingly all men and women in the country are whites.  The black magic of the African ancestry is no longer there in Thailand. The Lao and Chinese origins have brought about a mystic combination in Thais. Thai women are well formed and tempting. So does the men! Fine dining and attention to detail are the hallmarks of the Mandarin oriental. Bright colors—from umbrellas, clothing, and wares—brighten the muddy water of the Amphawa floating market in Samut Songkhram. Fruits, vegetables, flowers, and food tempt buyers are at floating markets across Thailand.

The twilight settles on the Chao Phraya river around 6’o clock. Chao’s sunset is the most beautiful I think.  A rare view of the sun, so closer and perfectly round in shape. It dazzles with bright red and luminous orange on a yellow mixed magenta canvas fringed beneath the faded bluish patches. Climbing for some 140 meters high and approximately 50 meters wide, recline the gold plated Buddha statues guarded by thick forests.  It is a mark of Buddhism underlying the khama in daylight along Pattaya and Phantong beaches. Thailand is mesmerizing. But not for its yellow mixed magenta skies or the bright waters of Amphawa or the tempting cuisine can cool down the boiling war between Thaksin and his opposition.

The wars fought against Cambodia, Laos and Burma waxed off the Kingdom. The Burmese held up. It was time for Thaksin! Since the day Thaksin became the Prime Minister he has been a busy man. He bought and sold England’s Manchester City football Club, acquired a titanium mine in Zimbabwe, started a lottery in Uganda, acquired a Nicaraguan passport, met with Vladimir Putin and met Nelson Mandela.

Wait! He is still busy doing things.

He now dreams of becoming the Head of Thailand. Thaksin is a successful mobile operator. A silicalite chip running with signals. What matters and mattered him was   the increase and decrease of figures. Law was second hand. Moral values weren’t a part of him.  He was happy when the GDP increased. He enjoyed the comforts when the debts fell off. Perhaps a typical business mind turned into politics. He was a proud owner of many developed transport systems in Thailand,   A bombastic figure of the highways and Airports in the country. But did he ever smile at the corruption? the authoritarianism? the money he laundered for him and his family through government commissions?

He was a total crook  who artificed a bleeding heart. Many men of the country are being fooled by his money. He confidently announces that he wants to come back to Thailand and serve the people.  Why then escape?  It should be remembered that the tongue can lie a many but not the heart can be duped easily.

Money has turned out to have a better heart than for the virtues of a man. This is why Thaksin is still energetic, ambitious and alive among many Thais. He empowered the long ignored voices of the countryside. He managed to develop funds worth 1 million TBH (Thai Baht) to help the poor. The Rice Subsidy project raised by him became popular among farmers but eventually resulted cash shortages. Yet there will be more about Thaksin, Thaksin and Thaksin running up in the lips of people in years to come in Thailand.

“If you love my brother, will you give his younger sister a chance?”  Once Yingluck Shinawatra led the crowd roar of approval at a camp, leaving little doubt as to whether the Gulf City is home to her brother Thaksin.

It’s a hunger game. Hungry for power. To own the flesh , to earn more and to celebrate the throne. To have pictures and posters of him on the city walls , every doorstep or the clock wall. Its nothing more than the greed , perhaps unending satisfaction. Nevertheless it’s a man’s thing. There is no therapy unless proper medication is found.

( Published on the 9th February 2014 in "The Nation " )

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SAWASDEE THAILAND

( Written while in Chaiyo District , Ang Thong Province , Thailand  on the 21st Jan 2014)

It was my second time in a Boeing, the UL 886. I wasn’t quite excited unlike for the very first time I traveled in the airplane. Yet a window seat will never fail to amaze me when flying in the air. Why? I get to see many things. Different kinds of landscapes when the plane takes off. I believe there is always something beautiful to be discovered out at the window. The sun rise and the sun sets are my favorite. The gigantic mountains, meandering lakes, buzzing cities with its sophisticated highway and subway networks woven into society is amazing.

 But this time I couldn’t work out much to capture the early sunrise in Thailand. I was too lazy, perhaps sleepy and jet lagged! The early morning in Siam wasn’t beautiful. It was the 16th of January. Even at 6 .15 in the morning there was a dim dusk moving. The sky featured in yellow, daisy like mixed with crimson. The paint was somewhat subdued. It didn’t ease me. I thought it will rain.

Airplanes have made travel easier. In three and a half hours time I was at the Suvarnabhumi Airport in Bangkok, finding my way to the foreign arrival queue.

After two days of my stay in Bangkok for a volunteer teacher preparation camp, I got to know from one of my friends that it is winter in Thailand now. So the gloomy sky I saw the day I arrived was a reason for winter. Even the cold that crept inside my clothes, the bitter wind that cut through my skin making me shiver constantly was another evidence of winter in Thailand. But there was something exceptional. No snow to be seen. Not even the rain or ice rain! Until dusk it was sunny. So far I have known that Thailand is super hot. Were the books wrong? Or was I wrong? What I knew of Thailand was even less than a thin strip of ribbon. Lately I knew that there is winter and the endless showers that fall from July to September which brings deadly floods at times.

People looked weird here. I realized that they were staring at me many a times I passed different faces. None of them bothered to utter a word. There was something incredibly odd. I discerned that the important notes from history occurred. They were rendered meaningless in the beginning. “Land of smiles” is just a word that I came across my Grade 11 History book. Thais smiled, smiled and smiled. They were supposedly happy-go-lucky people. The past years of the kingdom have been the most interesting. The political chaos and the social upheavals have resulted in mismanagement of the country. But still they’ll be smiling. Perhaps they are clueless about things. They just smile.

The more deeper and darker, behind the streets of Pattaya and the Pantong beaches is a Disneyland for pedophiles. Every inch of the pavement is dedicated to the sex toy trade. For all one knows, it’s a multi-million dollar sex – sale industry. It was quite obnoxious and yucky! Sex is usual but the sex trade was a flucky picture for me.

There is more to calculate, to hear, to feel and to experiment through the windows of the little room that I own from my host family. The stuffed pavements with poker players, the vendors selling fried cockroaches, flies and even fireflies. The raw footpaths surrounded by dry leaves in rural Thailand , the rock bands  and the brown eyes of the Thai bar girls in city hunting down to lay all night in thirst for lust . Nights never to be forgotten. Alone in Sins.

More to come in another 35 days,

Sawasdee Thailand!

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