LADYBOYS – The secret world of Thailand’s third gender

“Oh! Baby it’s raining, raining .Now it’s raining more than ever. We will shine together. I will give you a massage and have sex with you. Do you want to go heaven with me? “

Will he win another man’s heart?  God knows 

A woman with a penis, a surgically constructed vagina, breasts and bottom implants, and shaved Adam’s apple, sounds repugnant. The darker skies behind Thailand’s clouds with no stones is amazing but shocking too! Thousands of steps I kept my way in Bangkok to its subways, highways, and the sky train had something unusual. They were the men in pink and purple shape fitters, body hugging pants and lips colored in dark red and some in bright colors. Wait, they had long hair too! Who are they really? I wondered.

The cashier I met in 7 – eleven supermarket was beautiful, vivacious and stunning. I realized that there was no single hair on her skin. Totally white, just white! My second thought on her was kind of dirtier than the first. She was tempting! I couldn’t resist myself to touch her. Anyway with no repentance I got my stuff off the cashier’s desk and walked away. Her picture remained in my mind for days and days. My third visit to 7- eleven with Mat, my German buddy informed me that the woman at the cashier was a Lady boy. I was stunned for no reason.  It was funny. I really couldn’t figure out the word first. Was it a man turned into a woman or a woman being a man ? I was playing with the word to myself, twisting it many ways.  I hurried to the dorm and stopped in front of my Laptop. A five minute run through Google unveiled a few things about Ladyboys. It read as the “third gender”, a male –to-female who exhibits female characteristics while being born a male. I wasn’t quite sure the kind of information I was embarking on.

Thailand’s Trans- genders are mysterious. Quite well known as “Kathoeys”. They are prominently seen in Go- go bars, beauty salons, horrid slums, Thailand’s five star hotels and choreographed cabarets. I was illiterate about Ladyboys. But, Susan Aldous’s “Ladyboys” which caught my eyes in a bookshop at Khaosarn in Bangkok told me that life of every lady boy is more the same. Most of them prefer to correct their anatomy into a female while some are just happy wearing women’s clothes or adjusting themselves to effeminate mannerisms. Thais much engulfed in Buddhist faith believe that Ladyboys are a result of bad karma done in past lives.

A double take on Susan’s wording in his novel like breast implants, the hormone/ silicone enhanced breasts, vile sex shows, dancing in bikinis, generally satisfying clients with fellatio telling that he is on menstruation, or covering the penis against the lower abdomen or to carefully untape the penis and squat over the toilet to make sure that he will not get caught by his male clients when having a sexual encounter was disturbing.

Kathoeys are risk-takers. Perhaps they are a challenge to their own life and even the society. Ladyboys are competitive creatures when comes to sexual pleasure. The urge to be more feminine is stronger than just being a biological woman I think. Desire to succeed material wise plays a significant role in Thai society. So do many Ladyboys undergo surgeries to be more woman-like to sell their bodies for more money.

Despite the negative effects of contraceptive pills and the fear of getting cancer, Kathoeys or Ladyboys prefer to live happily like a woman with a few years off their life. A shorter life or a sooner death is fine for them, because they know that the silicone injections and pills will bring money to them.

Looks can be the biggest deception. It just did the same when I met the woman at the cashier in 7-eleven. If you just take away the shapes and sizes for a moment, a figure that is focused, and an ethereal beauty that can far excel anything physical will bring material benefits. However at the end of the day what matters is goodness. Susan’s write up about Ladyboys in Thailand illustrate the innocence and courage filled hearts of such people. Sometimes to cross paths irrespective of gender can be incredible.

( Published on the 22nd of February 2014 in "The Nation" )